My mood vigorously fluctuated from day to day last week.
I was depressed and lost my confidence, but the next day's occurrence made me happy.
Such an occurrence has happened several times.
This is one such episodes.
On this business trip, I brought cpopied music sheets to lessen the weight of my luggage.
When I was playing music on the stage, I realized that I couldn't see the music sheet clearly because of the backlighting of a strong spotlight.
I managed to play it, but it was really terrible.
I didn't check the spotlight in the rehearsal. I had been really stupid.
If I had used my music sheet as usual, or if I had memorized the music, it might not have happened. If I had practiced harder, I might not have been so badly shaken by the ocurrence.
Even I am writing this entry now, I start to want to escape.
I can't stop thinking about, what if.... what if.....
I can't get back my lost time. I'd like to recover. I know how to deal with it.
The only way is to practice my instrument.
It's good to earn money with my favorite things, but it's hard and painful sometimes.
My motivation for my job has been falling off recently.
No comments:
Post a Comment